Gracy...

On January 30, 2012, our youngest daughter passed away unexpectedly.  This has left a hole in our hearts and much quietness in our home.  It has been a challenge for all of to get to the point where we can mention her name or go into her room.  I have personally, have had a very difficult time with her passing.  My doctor has put me on anti-anxiety medications so that I can function during the day.  With that being said... I was very ANGRY with God for taking her!  She had just turned five and was learning sign language and how to communicate with us.  The Saturday before she passed, she said "Mama".  I bought a few books on how to deal with the loss of a child.  I read in this book, "Angel Children, doctrinal perspectives on the Salvation of little children", by Mary W. Hill.  As I was reading this book, I found that even the loss of a child, either a newborn, an older child or an adult, that the pain was real.  Heber J. Grant said "I never think of my wives and my dear Mother, my two boys, my daughter, my departed friends, and my beloved associates as being in the graveyard...My mind reaches out to the wonderful joy and satisfaction and happiness that they are having, and it robs the grave of it's sting."  How true this is.  I have not been leaning on the Lord.  He carries us through these times of pain ans suffering and loves us in the process.  In Heleman 5:12 it talks about the foundation on which we have built out faith on.  I believe that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true, yet I have not been being faithful in our beliefs of what our sweet baby is doing.  She is doing the Lord's work and being a missionary sharing the gospel to those who have passed that did not get a chance to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ.  We also have our own guardian Angel.  Thank you dear Heavenly Father for the challenges, and help me to be your faithful servant. 

Gratitude

I have had some serious health scares in the last 36 days. I am so blessed to have the family that I have. They have stepped up and helped when things have gotten tough, they have been there through tears and laughs, they have been there to soothe when fears are at their highest. I have also been blessed with a husband that honors his preisthood and uses it. I was given a blessing and all of my fears were comfortated. I was blessed with our older children stepping up and helping with the younger children and taking extra chores upon themselves to make sure that our home ran smoothly. I am so grateful for them. I have also been blessed with two wonderful brothers that watch carefully over me and my family. My Dad who I thought may not be able to handle the situation, to come in and show me who I remember my Daddy being. He use to give us M&M's when we were sick, and he came to the hospital with a medication bottle full of M&M's. That was the best things in the world to get from my Daddy. I know that he truly loves me. I am his only girl... I am Daddy's girl. I also got three doen flowers from my Dad and also my husband. What a lucky girl I am. I al blessed to have the two brothers that I have. One brought his family up and stayed for a few hours one day with his wife and thier boys. That made my day, even though I slept a lot. The other brother came on a different day and stayed most of the day with me. My Mom came later that night and then the next day to be with me and rub my feet. Our family has been once again brought together by love again. Good night know fo my love for you all!

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